Today, Dr. Hans Zarkoff, formerly of NASA, annouced that the recent sunspot activity was due to the actions of the extremist group linked to Al-Queda.
"I believe that Muslims Insurgent Network Government, (MING), is responsible. They are taking orders directly from Mr. Osama's Network of Genuine Opposition (MONGO)" said Zarkoff.
Tom Ridge, Director of Homeland Security would neither confirm or deny any information linking Al Queda to the recent solar flares. However, he announced a new national security color, Ultra Violet, which will be explained shortly.
Ok, so I'm feeling kinda off tonight...