Attention North Eastern State Neighbors:
It snows here during the winter. You may be called upon to drive in conditions that include snow, ice, and freezing rain.
I implore you to do the following:

1. Stay home if you can't handle it. Please.
2. Get out right now and learn to drive. It's 10:45, there's snow on the roads and not too many people out. Try it out. Learn what it means to drive in the snow. Take it easy. Do not try this during the commute like you did today.
3. Buy a vehicle with 4 wheel or front wheel drive. I recommend a Subaru.

Do not:
1. Drive home in front of me going 10 mph the whole way from the damn train station. Idiot.
2. Drive in my neighborhood slipping around on the streets in front of me. Jerk.

This has been a public service annoucement.